 |
 |
 Mel wu0ng 5th Sept crazes: dolphins, killer whales, willowy trees, the color red, earrings, mangoes, pepper; cracked, powdered, black pepper. and wishes she could swim so one day she can swim wit the dolphins lovez: the moon and the starz(drama not intended). her family and close-knit group of frenz, mindless Simpsons at 6pm, Aussie's Tim Tams, Jodi Picoult novels, deep, connecting conversations, the night atmosphere with company, dancing and goin crazy, car rides, the sound of laughter. how to make her feel shivery:feed her choc cinnamon. use calvin klein's "Be" joyz: being told she's missed and loved(who wouldn (; ), the feeling of accomplishment, finding a solution to a tough maths question, balancin acc, sketching, piggy-backing, i-feel-sexy days.
 and then there were 3..  all reds!  all whites! sweet 16 (: i believe.. in love, and somewhere out there, there may be someone for everyone. its jus that not everyone have the luxury of meeting the person. i believe in karma; what goes around comes around. i believe in a healthy intake of dietary fibre to prevent constipation. i believe in chemisty, botany and psychology. i believe in heaven and hell. i believe in the colour red. i believe in laughter. i believe in equipping oneself to diff weathers. i believe in the need for nothingness. i believe in the need for somethingness. i believe there's something bigger out there; it's easier that way. i believe not all easy things are the wrong things. i believe that money can in fact guarantee quality; or at least the right to return it if its faulty. i believe in shopping. i believe in sincerity, but also the lack of it. i believe in productivity. i believe in music therapy. i believe in shopping therapy. i believe in a mother's love, and the lengths she would go to protect her child. i believe in a good, solid education. i believe in seeing the bad, so that we can compare it to the good. i believe in taking strengths from people. i believe, we have our strengths, and we should hold on to it.
 
|
|
Notification: hello world! this site has moved to http://mellojellobello.blogspot.com because the author felt that this blog had ceased to interest her and she figured a drastic change would cure her writer's block.
De-Law i have.. 20 mins left for class. and im supposed to finish up the 2nd lecture of ma law. freakin 30+ cases to memorize. wtf. why do ppl wanna study law anyway,. wad are we, computers?! i am gonna. de-law ma self. First Name - Melanie
back! easter break's over! and we're back to uni. i'm happy bout it now cuz I. CAN.WALK! weeeee. :) i mean, don't get me wrong, I still don't like the workload and the pressure and all that but after being deprived of mobility for my first 3 weeks, i feel like freakin skippin to class. lol. so anyway, funny thing. i was readin thomas' post bout his china fren and i was like oh my god, i did that too. haha. the night before first day back in uni, akey announced to me, mel, daylight savin started and im like yay, cuz then i dont feel bad wastin m mornin cuz i have an extra hour!. so la dee da, i went out for lunch and took ma time because heck, when ure given the gift of time, you go right ahead and make use of it. then i adjusted ma clock and all, dam happy la, extra hour. tho i think in my lenggang-ing i wasted the extra hour that i could have been productive. anyway, in the morn, when i woke up akey told me it was 8am (and i have 9 am class) BUT without daylight savin. so it's 7 am, i thought. ok.. take ma time shower.. blow hair.."akey we go breakfast la later before class." (craving for muffins, you see) and then sudd when we took d tram we saw the clock saying "9.05 am". uh-oh. but maybe d tram changes late la, rite? then i remembered got a big clock at flinders station, and when we passed the station, *jeng jeng jeng* freakin 9:10am or smth but whatever it was, we were fuckin late! sigh. in the end, i went for the later lecture and akey missed his. so yeh. lesson learnt to not be a smart ass. watch the news and don't declare ure own extra hour. but on the plus side, we had that muffin anyway. hee. :D easter break. erm. caught up wit ppl, cherishey, sheng, tommy they all. and baked chewy choco cookies that was stickin to the tray and we had to scrap it off. it tasted good but looked disgusting. that was purely spontaneous tho. haha. me and akey recorded the Juno song :anyone else but you! haha. we went to watch a stand-up comedy on the ongoing Comedy Festival.. and paid in coins. how unclassy. haha. erm. the guy was a Brit so he talked really fast and i dont think i get Brit humor that much. haha. but when i did, it was good. (: erm. wad else. played couple vs couple taboo & simpson's cluedo with akey's sis and her bf. haha. i dont think i did much from ma list. i studied, i shopped. oh boy did i freakin shop. >< *guilt* AND im so freakin uber duper excited that ri nat eric and amir are comin over! (: im tryin to persuade akey to stay in july then it shall all be complete! :) i wish u guys would get ure asses here and study in melb. (all fingers point to Ri esp). me and tommy gonna come up wit a plan to bring u guys wherever we want! it'll be fun! :) yay! notice the exclamation marks = very excited. there's this international student volunteer thing promoted in melb u. it's a two-week volunteer program in a few selected places, like Ecuador, Costa Rica, New Zealand and stuff, doin volunteer work like saving sea turtles, buildin homes, teaching kids english and stuff, plus another two week adventure program doing stuff like scuba diving and sky diving and stuff. BUT apparently, u gotta be rich to do volunteer work cuz, take Costa Rica, it's $ 3298 without air tickets and taxes and any other tickets. what. the. fuck. >< i wanna go la. save turtle eggs. do ma part to society. be a good planetarian. find some speck of higher purpose in life. gonna talk to ma mum bout it. but seems unlikely. esp since after that i have to fly back to msia eventually. and then back to aus. o.O price is a form of rationing. and its doing a dam good job too. i need to go to ikea btw. need.a. bookshelf of some kind cuz ma table is.. not visible. :S maybe this weekend. i still need jackets la. dunno how i survived last yr. i dont have freakin thick jackets at all. ok i have a law test tmr. so im off to do wad i gotta do. (:
Come up for air I cant focus! Im supposed to doing maths till dinner time so that at least i'm free by night. but. i. can't. evil technology that gets you far by a few clicks aint exactly a good thing to have 5cm from where you're supposedly doing calculations.i've been facebooking, eBaying, readin ppls blogs and that, i thought, hey, i might as well talk about uni. It's easter break this fri, which according to our lecturers, is NOT a holiday. it's a 'study break' because we're 'uni students' with 'responsibilities'. but yeh, we have tests and all after the week break. but i think the break's good to catch a breath of air before we resure the semester. i've been pretty overwhelmed with how fast and disconnected things move in uni. it's kinda diff from Trinity, and by kinda i mean alot, cuz help is not fed, and u gotta take the initiative to keep ureself updated. and the uni makes GREAT use of the internet to dl lecture notes, keep ureself updated on announcements, find out bout tests and bla bla. and it doesn help that everyone in freakin uni seems to kno what they're doin except me. so. yea. need to breathe a bit. get updated on ma lectures and then resume after break. i sound whiny. i don't love uni, but then again it's jus the start. everyone's best fren seems to be coming over to Aus eventually to study except MINE. AHEM. *poke poke nudge nudge*. i'll be blamin UK soon. :P so yes. im supposed to be solving vectors, which i dont particularly care about. Easter break plans: - bake brownies, bake cupcakes, go to the beach, shop (finally!), catch up on work, watch "Across the universe" and "Once" wit the bf, shop, take a SundaySaver and go far away for a picnic to escape, take a break from uni, catch up wit Thom Sheng and all who I've been neglecting cuz of ma uni pile of work XP. oh and i suggested dressing up in bunny suits but akil prob jus agreed for selfish reasons. lol i wish we had 36 hours in a day. 48's too long, 24's too short. ;P i need a breather. and ri, i'll call u sooonnnn. argh. work. load.
drowning ure self in chocolates is not a smart way to be happier and i really have to start learning that.
Faust, Midas and Myself This one's bout a dream I had last night; He said "I've seen you here before, I know your name. You could have your pick of pretty things. You could have it all, everything at once, everything you've seen, everything you'll need-- everything you've ever had in fantasies. You've one life, one life left to lead." I woke up from my dream as a golden man, with a girl I've never seen, with golden skin. I jumped up to my feet. She asked me what was wrong. I began to scream. I don't think this is me; Is this just a dream or really happening? What direction? What direction now? I looked outside the glass at golden shores, golden ships and masts with golden cords. As my reflection passed, I hated what I saw. My golden eyes were dead and a thought passed through my head: a heart that is made of gold can't really beat at all. I wanted to wake up. I wanted to wake up again without a touch of gold. What direction? Death or action!
I woke up as before, but the gold was gone. My wife was at the door with her night robe on. My heart beat once or twice and life flooded my veins. Everything had changed. My lungs had found their voice, and what was once routine is now the perfect joy. "You've one life, one life left to lead."
loves (: Fong's back, the last of who we expect to come from home is here, and uni starts tmr, so i guess this means here we are, gonna begin another year here in Aus. I havent really been goin for orientation cuz of ma leg and ma laziness and ma refusal to face the sea of people so I'm not too sure wad to expect in uni but i guess i'll find out tmr. It's been a pretty stay-at-home month, but I'm glad i have company over. I havent been blogging cuz I dont wanna indulge in self-pity and shit but here I am, ready. :) Bring on the sea of people. I think i'm building serious biceps, I even arm-wrestled with the boyf that day. ahha. but i of course, lost. XP Anyhoo, i think i couldn have made it for these 3 weeks plus of recovery without being surrounded by ppl who care, ppl who are now filling me with a sense of love and a rush of appreciation when i was having my thinking time in the shower. yes. the shower is a good place to reflect. Ma mummy who came over and helped me settle the insurance issues, ran aroun gettin stuff for me, pampered me wit fruits and making me tea, drew a smiley face on ma toe and made me wriggle em to say hi to her and looked at ma wound when d doc opened the cast even though it makes her weak. :) Ma dad who rented a car and drove me aroun in an attempt to let me sight see, ran aroun the city wit ma mum shoppin for necessities and being around. Ma bro who patiently sought to ma needs and scoldin to when i hop around in case i injure ma leg. Li min n zi ying who let me use their internet to sort out ma timetable, accompanied me to do physio in the pool and letting me try their soy chicken. Ri, who told me how to use crutches and shared wit me tips on how to cope with people who stare and dont bother to hide it, and for her notes to accompany me for the days headin towards surgery, eventhough i got em late. Juney who bought me subway and offered to buy me breakkie. Wiri and mj for sharin their stories on crutches in an attempt to make me feel better, wiri for downloading movies for me so i dont die of boredom at home. pls dont arrest him for piracy if ure a cop. he's only trying to make me feel better. :) cherishey who came over and caught up wit me even though we lost ocntact a bit in msia, but here we are again :) tommy, sheng, ric and heng for their company. And lastly akey boo. for coming over late at night when ma parents were here at times when they drove me mad. for coming over early in the morn jus so we'd be each other's first person to wake up to. for buyin me krispy kreme's, chocolates, lunch, dinner. for walkin wit me to uni back n forth, building to building. for bringing me back to the ground when i started indulgin in self-pity. for kissing ma tears. for hugging me and keepin me safe. for gettin me ma very own dolphin. for serenadin me. for packin up ma bed and washin ma dishes. for massagin ma foot. for helpin me practice walkin again. for taking the taxi wit me, even though it costs more. for telling me what i need to hear. for being the only real thing i hold on to. for putting up wit ma temper and ma grumpiness, and loving me anyway. for tellin me i look good even when ma hair is in a disarray and all im wearin is ma tshirt and shorts. for openin my heart. happy 5 months :)
years of our lives Here i am, doin nothin since i woke up, havent even showered yet. can u believe its the new year. i mean, every year we go through another and its pretty much the same cycle. i think each new year is jus a chance to sort of do some filing to chapters of your life. "yea, when i was 17..."," in 2008....", "when i graduated in...". u kno, so u dun go through life in a series of blurs. so, i dont really have much expectations of the new year. i've kinda learned, as im sure we all have, that things dont always go as planned anyway. so i'm all for the spirit of takin it as it comes along. (: well, with some basic plannin, that is. i mean, we gotta have a lil guideline rite. and anyway. every year cant be a new beginning. i mean, if we keep restarting, when are we ever gonna get to the finish point? we cant always be waiting for life to begin. we should be grabbin it by the neck and be pro-active and do what we gotta do. (: most of us are looking for the road to happiness. but there is no way to happiness, happiness IS the way. we keep thinking, 'once i overcome this obstacle, i'll be happy'. but then soon we'll discover that life IS jus a series of these obstacles and happiness is the way to get through it. there is no grand prize on the other end, it's just death. but this elation, this joy we seek are the moments in our lives that make the obstacles seem easier to bear. and those are the bonus prizes that we get along the way. some say that contentment is the goal, some say that contentment limits our capacity. so i guess the question is what is gonna satisfy us? after all, happiness itself is an opinion, a mindset. So, 2007. has come and gone. i remember leaving, and it was raw and it caught me off guard. i remember crying on the phone wit ma mum telling her i wouldn be ok, that i dont think i would fit in. it's been a collection of experiences. as i'm sure every year is, only of different aspects. so i wont get into details. but i think a part of me still needs some closure to ma previous exps. for me to really feel liberated. anddd i cant bring ma self to do it. its stupid, but jus like how we eat chocolate at 3am, its jus somethin that needs to be done. for... a good feeling. haha. at least i still maintained ma principles even with ma immense load of freedom. i did not get addicted to smoking, i did not neglect ma studies, and im not pregnant. (: that, i am proud of. :D
look how they shine for you See my feet on the ground
the balance. I think one thing that we tend to forget is, we cant have it all. i want the best of every aspect of life and in chasing one i forgo what i have. because it doesn work that way, nobody-- NOBODY gets it all. not the best of it. even the happiest faces we see on magazines or on the streets do lack some aspect of life that any one of us might have more of. u either have the best of a few or an average of all. so what do you settle for: less of the best of more of the mediocre? its human greed. take take take and take. till we forget to give. because we want it. but if everyone has that mindset, who's gonna take from who to achieve a general happiness.? that's why trust is a fraility. cuz its often betrayed. and honesty is a virtue. because its so rare. but we're all people and even the most selfless people need to be selfish once in a while. sure, the joy of giving is there, but when all the happy faces aroun you disappear at night ure gona wonder what it is that you're doing to make your SELF happy. and im not saying that we shouldn do charity. im all for the charity, more charity i say. im saying that every one of us needs to be selfish to be happy once in a while. its a personal need. personal because, no one's gonna know whats gonna make u happy but u. and if u dont chase for it, no matter how much u give and give and give to make others happy, at some point, you're gonna wanna take. and i think thats what ma mum feels. that her priority for us never shifts but we are constantly shiftin her up and down with time. in attempting to find another stability, i neglect the stability i already have. and if im not careful, i may jus end up wit nothing at all. i think that hiding stuff from ppl make you more distant from them. there's a part of you that you're not showing and that but to be a barrier that limits the communication. cuz u kno there's this you cant say, that you cant mention, this you gotta pretend. too many restrictions. so we dont act like ourself aroun the person because, well, it might not be acceptable. so what do you do, if opening up gets you in trouble and shutting up keeps you apart? its all one big balance. the way this world works is all a balance. day and night share time. the left brain and the right. the evil and the good. balance. and until we find that level of balance we're comfortable with, we're not gonna be content. but we cant stay in contentment for too long or we'll have no drive to move forward and progress. see, balance.
|
|
|
