Here i am, doin nothin since i woke up, havent even showered yet. can u believe its the new year. i mean, every year we go through another and its pretty much the same cycle. i think each new year is jus a chance to sort of do some filing to chapters of your life. "yea, when i was 17..."," in 2008....", "when i graduated in...". u kno, so u dun go through life in a series of blurs. so, i dont really have much expectations of the new year. i've kinda learned, as im sure we all have, that things dont always go as planned anyway. so i'm all for the spirit of takin it as it comes along. (: well, with some basic plannin, that is. i mean, we gotta have a lil guideline rite.

and anyway. every year cant be a new beginning. i mean, if we keep restarting, when are we ever gonna get to the finish point? we cant always be waiting for life to begin. we should be grabbin it by the neck and be pro-active and do what we gotta do. (: most of us are looking for the road to happiness. but there is no way to happiness, happiness IS the way. we keep thinking, 'once i overcome this obstacle, i'll be happy'. but then soon we'll discover that life IS jus a series of these obstacles and happiness is the way to get through it. there is no grand prize on the other end, it's just death. but this elation, this joy we seek are the moments in our lives that make the obstacles seem easier to bear. and those are the bonus prizes that we get along the way. some say that contentment is the goal, some say that contentment limits our capacity. so i guess the question is what is gonna satisfy us? after all, happiness itself is an opinion, a mindset. 

 So, 2007. has come and gone. i remember leaving, and it was raw and it caught me off guard. i remember crying on the phone wit ma mum telling her i wouldn be ok, that i dont think i would fit in. it's been a collection of experiences. as i'm sure every year is, only of different aspects. so i wont get into details. but i think a part of me still needs some closure to ma previous exps. for me to really feel liberated. anddd i cant bring ma self to do it. its stupid, but jus like how we eat chocolate at 3am, its jus somethin that needs to be done. for... a good feeling. haha. at least i still maintained ma principles even with ma immense load of freedom. i did not get addicted to smoking, i did not neglect ma studies, and im not pregnant. (: that, i am proud of. :D