I think one thing that we tend to forget is, we cant have it all. i want the best of every aspect of life and in chasing one i forgo what i have. because it doesn work that way, nobody-- NOBODY gets it all. not the best of it. even the happiest faces we see on magazines or on the streets do lack some aspect of life that any one of us might have more of. u either have the best of a few or an average of all. so what do you settle for: less of the best of more of the mediocre? its human greed. take take take and take. till we forget to give. because we want it. but if everyone has that mindset, who's gonna take from who to achieve a general happiness.? that's why trust is a fraility. cuz its often betrayed.  and honesty is a virtue. because its so rare.

   but we're all people and even the most selfless people need to be selfish once in a while. sure, the joy of giving is there, but when all the happy faces aroun you disappear at night ure gona wonder what it is that you're doing to make your SELF happy. and im not saying that we shouldn do charity. im all for the charity, more charity i say. im saying that every one of us needs to be selfish to be happy once in a while. its a personal need. personal because, no one's gonna know whats gonna make u happy but u. and if u dont chase for it, no matter how much u give and give and give to make others happy, at some point, you're gonna wanna take. and i think thats what ma mum feels. that her priority for us never shifts but we are constantly shiftin her up and down with time. in attempting to find another stability, i neglect the stability i already have. and if im not careful, i may jus end up wit nothing at all. i think that hiding stuff from ppl make you more distant from them. there's a part of you that you're not showing and that but to be a barrier that limits the communication. cuz u kno there's this you cant say, that you cant mention, this you gotta pretend. too many restrictions. so we dont act like ourself aroun the person because, well, it might not be acceptable. so what do you do, if opening up gets you in trouble and shutting up keeps you apart?

   its all one big balance. the way this world works is all a balance. day and night share time. the left brain and the right. the evil and the good. balance. and until we find that level of balance we're comfortable with, we're not gonna be content. but we cant stay in contentment for too long or we'll have no drive to move forward and progress. see, balance.